Order of the Day

By now you may know that I like to have coffee first thing in the morning. I can't function well without that first sip. I take it in the shower in a Go-cup, then have another while putting on my make-up and making breakfast. Coffee is a barometer for me: If I can't drink it, I know I am coming down with something. It's not just a stimulant for me, it's the natural order of my day.

I think I was about 14 when I started drinking coffee. It was pretty gross even though I used a lot of cream and sugar, but I forced myself, because I wanted to look more mature. My friends and I 'went for coffee' almost every day. And yes, we were smoking.

Here is a text I sent to my daughter last summer, when she was 14:



She replied:



Extra hot? What the....? I guess you can't ask for a 'cute' coffee. I get the soy thing as she was a vegan at the time. I asked her to explain:



I think that is pretty accurate. When I asked my 12 year old what she would like at Starbuck's, she said "I'll have a grande passion tea lemonade with a shot of raspberry." Huh? What about chocolate milk? Kids these days. Where would she even hear about something like this? I try to counter the obnoxious fancy orders by making mine as simple as possible. It goes something like this:

First Person in Line: Can I get a grande, extra hot, half-caf, no whip, skinny mocha-locha-choka-ya-ya?

Second Person in Line: I'll have a tall, soy, double-shot, no foam, frappa-lappa-ding-dong?

Me: May I have a cup of coffee please?

Counter Person: Venti?

Me: Bless you....

Counter Person, confused: Tall?

Me: Well, I'm average, I'd say....

Counter Person, rolling eyes: To go?

Me: I'd like to stay and drink it, if I'm allowed.

Counter Person, annoyed now: Bold?

Me: You don't know the half of it..... OK, OK, I'll have a tall, bold, with room, in a real cup to stay.

Good grief, was that so hard? Just having a little fun. Come to think of it, I think that order describes me pretty well.

I decided that we should all have a descriptive coffee order. That passion tea lemonade thing doesn't even make sense. For my Little One: a slim, string-bean, plain eater, about to turn 13, who needs to run on a hamster wheel if she drinks a coke, and likes to rap, dance and act like a crazy person, I would choose a tall, skinny, no-caf, vanilla bean Frap-bap-a-loo-wappa-whop-bam-boom.

That would be the order of the day.